It’s no secret how much I love my friends – they’re my filter, chosen family and mega loves of my life. However, the last week I’ve come to realize how much they mean to me as I embark on a new adventure as part of the “Peter P Come Back Tour 2013” – DATING!!!! ARGGGG!!!
This week marks two years to the day that I walked away from a decade long term relationship and began a new life. The past two years have represented unprecedented pain , emotional upheaval and new adventures. However, the idea of dating someone new with a view of entering a another relationship has not been on my radar. In actual fact, I’ve created so many barriers – it would take an Olympic pole vaulter to scale the massive emotional wall I’ve built to protect my heart.
Well, I dipped my big toe back into the “Dating Pool” over the last month and let me tell you – my anxiety has only been surpassed by the “Crazy Lady” internal dialogue screaming to run – run very far and mega fast from this possible renewed pain. At every turn over the past month, I’ve created a multitude of scenarios in my mind as to why it wouldn’t work, how he would hurt me and why I should walk away. What I’ve learned is that my “Flight” responses are all born out of fear.
Enter stage left my amazing friends. Every single step of this new dating adventure, they’ve provided advice, love and an empathic ear when dealing with my “Crazy Lady” within – and let me yell you, the “Crazy Lady” within is nuts on a “Mexican Day Time Drama” level – Diva without a clue!!
You may be wondering, what’s been the outcome of my month long dating adventure? The story this time around does not have a “Fairy Princess” happy ending (yet), and I’m not sure what’s going to happen with the young hottie in question. However, with mega amounts of help from my friends, I’m able to learn from this adventure.
So, what have I learned thus far??? It’s quite simple – instead of focusing on what I don’t what I need to focus on all the things I do want. I need to clearly communicate these wants and desires outwardly and as part of my internal dialogue. I think this dating adventure has had a muddled outcome so far because I’ve been unclear about what I wanted. I have to say, if I’m “Definite with the Infinite”, the outcomes reflect my emotional and mental vibrations – within all aspects of my life. This ethos is reflected in the amazing dear ones I have in my life, they are a “Second Self” – reflecting love, compassion, creativity and spontaneity. So, I need to apply the same theory as I take the tentative steps into a new romantic life. I’ll keep you posted. Wish me luck!!!
May Your Week ROCK!!!
“Never Dull Your Sparkle”
– Peter P XOXOXO